IT'S A GIRL!

I’ve known our baby was a girl for quite a while.  Everyone I’m close to has known that I wanted lots of boys…to field a baseball team, to fill the starting D-line for football…and to help their father with the family business.  But, about a month into the pregnancy, the inkling hit. 

I’m really not upset or anything.  I mean really?! We have been so exited for this baby!  And as we have been around Bella, uncle Nathan adores her! I mean, I do too, but I’m getting exited to see him as a daughter’s father.  On many occasions, Bella and Uncle Nathan have sat in a chair, watched tv and played with rattles and cell phones for hours.  They’re easily entertained like that. J

After our appointment, we got McDonald’s and Nathan and I headed to church to eat.  Brittany was cooking tonight so that meant Bella would be there, and I could tell her and Dad the news.  Joel, our pastor and really good friend, came out and chatted with us.  Nathan chuckled and said, “I guess I need to start working on my sensitivity.” And I replied, “And I need to get a little better with compassion.”  He reassured us we’ll be fine, and I’m pretty sure we will be.  Just entertaining.  VERY entertaining. 

This also means that my CREATIVITY GETS TO SHINE!  I refuse the color pink!  REFUSE!  I will do everything in my power to avoid pink at all cost!  I’m sure this will backfire when after I withhold her from pink and she sees it, she’s going to cling to it and demand it! But I will fight it!  Fight it I tell you!

Her name by the way is Ruthie May.  Ruthie means companion or dear friend and May, depending on the website, means the 5^th month of the year, which is my favorite J, but also, it means great.  So she’s a great companion! 

Darling Ruthie,

Though you may hate me later in life for withholding pink from you, or embarrassing you, or destroying your dating life, the love that your father and I have for you is and will always be immeasurable.  I’m scared to death that I’m going to down right suck at this (please don’t say that until your in high school at least), but with the help of our Mighty God and your sweet, sweet father, you will surpass all of our wildest dreams!  I’m so anxious to hold you. So anxious.  Sigh…

Love, mom

The First 16 Weeks...

The Hard Stuff...

• I have not had coffee in over 90 days...no caffeine for that matter.  I still think about it every morning.
• The baby flu-  I lost a grand total of 13 lbs. Some may find this GREAT! but I just have started gaining weight with in the last 4 days.  I was generally fearful.  
• Being SOOO tired.  I was ready for bed last night and it was still light outside.
• Heart burn...I have been pretty fortunate to not have to deal with much sickness or digestive problems.  Tums and me...now we're like this!
• Brushing my teeth...nathan finds this slightly humorous...generally, gagging is NOT humorous.
• I can't leave the dishes more than a day or else the smell is just bad enough that i gag the whole time.  I confess, I have worn a nose plug doing dishes.  
• My brother-in-laws/future brother-in-laws/Boss/any other male in my life who teases me who says I'm "milking it."  I could slap you right now, and no one would bat an eye..."hormones," they'd say.  And I would play right along!  

The AWESOME Stuff...

• I can't/shouldn't change the litter box.  Nathan tried hard to get rid of the cat, but i told him he couldn't cause me stress b/c i was pregnant.
• I gag every time i take care of the dogs, so Nathan took over doing that as well...only when i'm really brave or i really want to impress him do I find my nose plug and forge through...
• That whole, CREATING A HUMAN THING!  That's pretty sweet!
• I've starting looking at my reflection in buildings and things out and public and giggling...it's just different than looking in the mirror at home.  Makes it more real.
• I get LOTS of Sleep.  (Well, lots of time to sleep...i toss and turn alot for comfort sake)
• Maternity Leave...need I say more. 
• This may be TMI but let's get real...my boobs fit my clothes!  Awesome!
• I can get away with not buttoning my pants...no one else knows, but i do.  :)
• I have lots of people around me that I can ask questions.  LOTS!  
• The gushy stuff...right before bed at night when Nathan puts his hand over on my tummy.  I cried the first time he did that...extra emotions, ya know.  Now i just smile.  
• The butterfly flutters.  He/She's not big enough yet to flat out kick me, but I def feel movement.
• My change in diet.  Besides my crazing for morning hash browns, im eating tons of fruit, almonds, cheese, lots of water, granola, good carbs, an occasional bowl of ice cream, but nothing too fatty or greasy!  
• My perspective in life is changing hard core.  I'll be the first to admit im pretty self centered.  How are things going to affect me?  I can definitely see a shift in perspective...what about Nathan, the Baby, the family...
• I CAN NOT WAIT for my baby to know Jesus! For the learning and the questions!  I dont know how prepared I'll be, but I'm def. excited!  

I know there's tons more...but these things stick out the most.  The Awesome stuff outweighs the bad right now a gazillion to 1.  I'll try to post belly pictures soon...but im still in the fat stage...not looking pregnant yet. 

I stayed up a little late last night thinking about the child birthing process...(I swear if you could read my  thoughts like I read Katniss Everdeens, you'd not stop laughing...her and Petaa are what i though about after this) freaking about the pain and the needles.  I've decided that I HAVE to tell the doc that I CAN NOT see the epidural needle.  And if I do see it, then i'm screwed b/c then I wont want it but then I'll be even more scared b/c of all the pain to come.  Then i doze off and dream I'm a bodyguard in the Hunger Games, and then i wake up thinking about that... humorous.  And last week, dreams about buffalo attacking people and me losing Daniel Monahan's non-existent dog and missing a class and calculators...oh the dreams.  

Man, I've got to stop.  I am all over the place!  Needless to say pregnancy is so entertaining in my head, yet slightly uneventful on the outside.  

A Man of Few Words...

So, we were meeting at this bar for nathan's friend, Ronnie's, birthday.  I knew it was gonna be bar food, and I knew that I would prob want a Coors so I thought I will try one more time.  I felt so weird and nathan and I had been praying for this, so i'd try.  

I swung by the walgreens on my way home.  I picked up the ept and some other things to make it look like that wasnt all that I was picking up.  The guy that checked me out at the register was nice and polite.  As he handed me my bag, he said,"If you are congradulations.  We just had our first and she's the best."  I met his eyes slightly shocked...."Thank you...my husband and I have been praying really hard."  We exchanged smiles and i left.  

I got home and first thing I did was clean the cat's litter box.  I dont know why i remember that.  I think it was to convince myself that I still has responsibility stirring around in my head somewhere...and it needed it...Then me and the ForFor (that's my cat) went to the bathroom.  And I prayed.  I prayed out loud that i could really use a nice cold beer but i would trade beer for the rest of my life for this to be the chance to have a baby.  I took the test.  I didnt look at it.  I set on the counter and I prayed again.  Nathan had his Bible sitting right on the counter there, and I opened it.  And read it...

¹ “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. ³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

   ⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

That would be John 15:1-8  I shed a tear and smiled big and picked up the test... It was light.  But i just knew it.  I hopped in the shower fast and the whole time i just knew it.  

I made myself extra cute b/c i felt extra cute.  I WAS PREGNANT! :)  I was meeting nathan there. I was trying to figure out the whole ride how to tell him.  I knew he wouldn't say much, whatever he said.  But i still wanted to be clever.  It had snowed enough to make things slick and I knew nathan would have to get up and work the next morning.  And it was COLD and his coat was in my back seat.  I met him in the parking lot of the bar and he immediately was ready to go inside b/c he was cold.  I said hey wait.  

"You and I are gonna have a baby."  *not very clever mind you...*

"Ha! Really.  I really dont know what to say right now." Big Smiles. 

He hugged me and kissed me and we headed in.  He ordered me a root beer and we held hands almost the whole nite.  He was taking care of me and that spoke volumes.

I'm pretty sure we're not ready, but that's not important.  God's got that under control.  We've started the worrying process...money, house, insurance...but we'll be just fine.  I know it.  I just know it.  

Wow....a baby... hmm...

Thank you, Jesus.