Monday, October 20, 2008

The Other Side

I dont know if anyone else has experienced this before, but there has been, until just recently, a point in my life, where I would go through the motions of "God: just to remind myself that I still believed in Him. But now, on the tail end side of struggle and the dreaded waiting stage of life, the love and ultimate unconditional love and gratitude I have for God and his grace is two fold. I have seen the power and answered pray from a desperate plea for help ATLEAST 3 times in the last two weeks. God has guided me decision making and after making some big decisions, He has poured out affirmation. After conviction, He showed me multiple solutions, and after giving in faith, He blessed me in faithfulness.

I do not deserve this at all. I am worthless with out Jesus blood. Yet to think that God smiles down on me, and I sure, laughs at me when I look totally retarded, makes me fill with tears and weap with thanksgiving.

I went on the HOPE (Hands of Praise and Evangelism) trip this weekend to the Carmi Childrens home and then to Logan St. Baptist Church on sunday, and basically cried the whole time Nicky did the signs to Philips, Craig, and Dean's song; "Your grace still amazes me. Your love is still a mystery. Each day, I fall on my knees, because your grace still amazes me."

I know that I am being very blanketed about what I am talking about, but I dont think the subject really matters at this point. God needed me to see his faithfulness and He got me good. And on top of that He gave me the bestest man in the world to help me discover it. And the fam...

God is good.

Psalms 61
1 Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
2 From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

3 For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.

4 I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Quirks and More...

I AM IT on the 6 Quirks game...
Argh... Lets see if I can do this...

Here are the rules:
Link the person who tagged you
Mention the rules on your blog
Tell about 6 quirks of yours
Tag 6 fellow bloggers of yours to do the same
Leave a comment to let them know

Whenever I am typing on the computer I hit the backspace button about three times more than I type, mostly because of my awful spelling skills, not typing as fast as my thoughts, and those horrible red squiggly lines that appear everywhere...I try to avoid right clicking and see if I can guess it first.

I really want someone to explain this one to me b/c i really have no explanation... The only room that I will let get really dirty is my bedroom. I hate when a kitchen is dirty or a furniture is dusty or just grossness is around except for my room.

I have a hard time using a shampoo that is not clear. I'm wondering if it because the shampoo is clear therefore it may be more clarifying... It takes a solid recommendation to make me use otherwise.

I LOVE SITTING ON MY FEET! In restaurants, at church, at home, I will find a way. Rarely am i sitting like a normal human being in a chair.

Favorite food: Artichoke...enough said

I have a fear of tweenkies. Dont know why, dont want to know why, that's just the way it is and I have accepted that.

Thanks Dani!

I got on here to write and I noticed my quirk challenge so I thought I should do that first. I am hitting a big stepping stone tomorrow. I got a real job. I full time job with benefits, a salary, a desk, co-workers... its career not a job now. I have a title that doesnt include the word food. And I'm crazy nervous. This is where the title of my blog means a ton. I really feel right now, no joke, that I am a teenager trying to be an adult. It's not that I question my intelligence. I just dont feel old enough.

I got my diploma in the mail today. It's official. I have passed at life. Living at home with mom and dad has def helped me get back on my feet, but man, I am ready for my own place. I am not sick of them, I love them more than words, but I do not miss the feeling of being a kid under my parents roof. Granted, becoming debt free feels totally possible right now. That is very exciting to me.

I miss my love so much. I only get to talk to him for about 10 minutes a day. It's just long enough to remind him that I love him, tell him that I know that he can really be an engineer, for him to tell me he loves me and a running countdown of when I get to see him next.

God and I are working hard to get where we need to be. I am working at pulling my weight. I feel totally blessed to have received this job and I just want to totally thank Him over and over by working my hardest. Work has a purpose now and I feel great about that. I need a booster, I need friends, some ears to come soon, but God is listening great for the moment. I know the day will come when I'm not lonely anymore. I have become very familiar with the waiting period so I can wait a little longer, I don't mind.

Say a prayer for me when you read this. Nothing serious. Just a helpful boost of confidence. Love you guys for reading this..