Friday, December 26, 2008

Picture #4

I was tagged into this fun game Shannon and Dani like 2 mo ago... and i just found it... sorry guys...

The Instructions:

1. Choose the 4th picture folder on my computer

2. Choose the 4th picture

3. Explain the picture

4. Tag 4 other bloggers

This is my sister a about a year or so after i was born in her favorite dress. I was taking a picture of a picture b/c i didnt have a scanner and i wanted to do a present that i never ended up making. hm.

I am sorry... i think i was the last one to do this... so there's no one to tag.

Happy Birthday Jesus

This Christmas season I was completely reminded day after day of how blessed I am. First by my job, psh.. holy cow is that awesome! and then with our party it st. louis. those girls were/are amazing! we could have stayed and talked easily a second day without running out of things to say. sometimes after talking to people and hearing their situations, i just get more and more greatful. i have an amazing set of future inlaws, a rock star boyfriend...(which i found out very quickly how much i take for granted the feeling of being with someone), an amazing, too clean home now, and an awesome future home. The fab five are kickin' it strong at avanti's! I get to see God working daily, and boy, do i take advantage of that. lol i think this was all supposed to happen around thanksgiving, but christmas will work.

i got this amazing text from my dear friend rhychell... her daughter was saying Merry Christmas... this is for u shan, b/c ur not getting texts right now

The excitement of christmas...
I got a heating blanket! and Nathan got me a dog. We havent picked it out yet (haha got ya) but i will come spring. I will have pictures of my house up soon. I will do before and afters... ps. im moving into a house in Peoria b/c Jesus and I think it will be valuable for our youth group.

Next post will have more direction.. im scatter-brained right now.. i just really wanted Ryiah's picture up!

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Other Side

I dont know if anyone else has experienced this before, but there has been, until just recently, a point in my life, where I would go through the motions of "God: just to remind myself that I still believed in Him. But now, on the tail end side of struggle and the dreaded waiting stage of life, the love and ultimate unconditional love and gratitude I have for God and his grace is two fold. I have seen the power and answered pray from a desperate plea for help ATLEAST 3 times in the last two weeks. God has guided me decision making and after making some big decisions, He has poured out affirmation. After conviction, He showed me multiple solutions, and after giving in faith, He blessed me in faithfulness.

I do not deserve this at all. I am worthless with out Jesus blood. Yet to think that God smiles down on me, and I sure, laughs at me when I look totally retarded, makes me fill with tears and weap with thanksgiving.

I went on the HOPE (Hands of Praise and Evangelism) trip this weekend to the Carmi Childrens home and then to Logan St. Baptist Church on sunday, and basically cried the whole time Nicky did the signs to Philips, Craig, and Dean's song; "Your grace still amazes me. Your love is still a mystery. Each day, I fall on my knees, because your grace still amazes me."

I know that I am being very blanketed about what I am talking about, but I dont think the subject really matters at this point. God needed me to see his faithfulness and He got me good. And on top of that He gave me the bestest man in the world to help me discover it. And the fam...

God is good.

Psalms 61
1 Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
2 From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

3 For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.

4 I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Quirks and More...

I AM IT on the 6 Quirks game...
Argh... Lets see if I can do this...

Here are the rules:
Link the person who tagged you
Mention the rules on your blog
Tell about 6 quirks of yours
Tag 6 fellow bloggers of yours to do the same
Leave a comment to let them know

Whenever I am typing on the computer I hit the backspace button about three times more than I type, mostly because of my awful spelling skills, not typing as fast as my thoughts, and those horrible red squiggly lines that appear everywhere...I try to avoid right clicking and see if I can guess it first.

I really want someone to explain this one to me b/c i really have no explanation... The only room that I will let get really dirty is my bedroom. I hate when a kitchen is dirty or a furniture is dusty or just grossness is around except for my room.

I have a hard time using a shampoo that is not clear. I'm wondering if it because the shampoo is clear therefore it may be more clarifying... It takes a solid recommendation to make me use otherwise.

I LOVE SITTING ON MY FEET! In restaurants, at church, at home, I will find a way. Rarely am i sitting like a normal human being in a chair.

Favorite food: Artichoke...enough said

I have a fear of tweenkies. Dont know why, dont want to know why, that's just the way it is and I have accepted that.

Thanks Dani!

I got on here to write and I noticed my quirk challenge so I thought I should do that first. I am hitting a big stepping stone tomorrow. I got a real job. I full time job with benefits, a salary, a desk, co-workers... its career not a job now. I have a title that doesnt include the word food. And I'm crazy nervous. This is where the title of my blog means a ton. I really feel right now, no joke, that I am a teenager trying to be an adult. It's not that I question my intelligence. I just dont feel old enough.

I got my diploma in the mail today. It's official. I have passed at life. Living at home with mom and dad has def helped me get back on my feet, but man, I am ready for my own place. I am not sick of them, I love them more than words, but I do not miss the feeling of being a kid under my parents roof. Granted, becoming debt free feels totally possible right now. That is very exciting to me.

I miss my love so much. I only get to talk to him for about 10 minutes a day. It's just long enough to remind him that I love him, tell him that I know that he can really be an engineer, for him to tell me he loves me and a running countdown of when I get to see him next.

God and I are working hard to get where we need to be. I am working at pulling my weight. I feel totally blessed to have received this job and I just want to totally thank Him over and over by working my hardest. Work has a purpose now and I feel great about that. I need a booster, I need friends, some ears to come soon, but God is listening great for the moment. I know the day will come when I'm not lonely anymore. I have become very familiar with the waiting period so I can wait a little longer, I don't mind.

Say a prayer for me when you read this. Nothing serious. Just a helpful boost of confidence. Love you guys for reading this..

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A Tablespoon of a Kick in the pants

Well, since my last post, much has changed.

To catch you up to speed...I had started job searching by the end of May when I got to TN b/c i figured it wasnt going to be easy. And, shoot, it was impossible. I had two absolutely terrible experiences... I will write about them...but needless to say, I'm living back at the parents house and missing Kelsey, missing the label, missing Nashville like CRAZY and hating the "in debt" feeling!

Job searching at home isn't much easier. I applied for a BMW car dealership, a Pet Tech at an animal shelter, and a helper at a bakery. So, Im working at the bakery, Cyd's. I love it, although it is min wage, I love the people and the food and the laid back-ness of it.

I'm still looking for a radio job. I can't give up yet, but I sure wasnt expecting this.

I am loving being home though. Yes it's difficult at times, but you cant complain about being around people you love. I know God wants me here. Thats for sure. I'm just still figuring out why.

I gotta get back to work. I'm on my break at Cyd's and I think we are going to work on some artsy fartsy displays. I will def write more now that I DONT HAVE HOMEWORK!!! lol crazy!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Photo Blog

I'm too tired to type alot so ill put up some pictures of recent happenings...
Pic 1: We have these nasty little fruit flies all the time even when there's no food sitting out. She slapped and got two at once!

Pic 2: Kelsey and I frantically getting her school project done by taking pictures of spilled beans.

Pic 3: This WAS a Cosmo but the dogs that dogsat this weekend def. thought it was a chew toy. Thank u tricia and kelsey for helping me remain calm.

Pic 4: Artsy pictures of my garden...this is parsley

Pic 5: Raspberry Bush

Pic 6: Lettuce

Pic 7: and the not so great picture but awesome sun flower!

These Next pics are the shots decorating my wall...

They were all pictures taken in Nashville so i felt it appropriate. Ok off to bed.

Monday, June 2, 2008

The Start of Week 3

I was talking to Kelsey tonight and i started out talking all sophisitcated on this blog b/c i wanted people to feel like i has something important to i just wanna make sure that people know i am doing ok and that i can see for myself that i am doing ok. I thought i would post some pictures up here to show you what i am up to and what not...
So Kelsey is taking this digital photography class on the side and we discovered this weekend and mostly yesterday that she needed to get some shoots done for tomorrow night. So we did the bean shots to show focus up front and in the distance. We went down town to see about some city lights and got totally freaked out by our surroundings. Saturday morning we got to go to this farmers market and flea market and the flea market wasnt all that great but i got some sweet potatoes, corn, and baby reds. Then i bought my raspberry bush!!! Oh i have got to get a picture of my potted garden on here for everyone to see! Megan Block would be so proud of me. I have lettuce, peppers, basil, parsley, 2 planters of assorted flowers, a raspberry bush, and i planted 2 giant sunflowers for Kelsey.
Funny story...we had chicken saturday night for dinner and we wanted to have Kelsey new amish sourdough bread that she bought at the farmers market and then she wanted to make her so wonderful seasoned baby reds. she had them in the oven and they werent cooking very fast so we decided we would eat and then eat the potatoes when we were all done with everything else. Well... we decided after dinner that we wernt going to eat them until later but we were going to go downtown and shoot pictures. So...we 90 min later we walk back in our front door and it smelled that usual smell after you bake dinner...and kelsey was like, "man, what did we cook to leave a smell combo like that...chicken, bread, pota...POTATOES!!!" we accidently left the potatoes in the oven at 450 degrees for about 2 hours. And they tasted pretty good...but the principle!! Neither of us remembered and after the initial we laughed about it for a while... it's becuase we got an old fashioned stove and so there's no light to say if it's on or off. thats our rebuttal.

Saturday afternoon we were also looking for a used CD and record store and boy did we find one! Grimey's has everything you could ever dream of! I got a Madonna, Best of Bread, Bon Jovi, and Beegies Record and Kelsey got a $1 Steve Martin Stand up record. Now all we need is a working record player!
Well this weekend Tricia is coming to town and Kelsey is leaving there will be more stories to tell soon. Forrest is doing well. I will have pictures of her, my apartment, and my garden up soon.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Figuring it out...

So I am in Nashville.... crazy I know. I've been here two weeks tomorrow and it still only feels like a day or two. I'm missing everyone alot lately...all the girls from C'dale, my family, my love. I am one to embrace change, I am, but i guess i just wasn't expecting it to just be like..BHAM! SLAM! CHANGE! I feel like i am handling it well for such an abrupt turn-about.

My apartment...well... I got new carpet which was awesome! bathroom door is a slidding curtian, there was no lock on my sliding glass door. Our shower didn't work for a day, the cabinet below our sink was rotted through, the light was out in the dark alley where our door is, and these last few days we found a leak that was coming from our upstairs neighbor's leaky tub pipes. Everything but the leak has been fixed so far. Every time we tell someone where we live they are like..."Ohhhhh... you live there!?.. Do you feel safe?!" So apparently we live in a kind of shady part of town. We havent had cable yet either. We've been playing phone tag with the cable man for when is a good time for him to come over. We've been watching DVD's on our computers and just hoping there is no big alerting news.

My roommate, Kelsey, is a doll! We are basically the same person when it comes to everything except for beans, chocolate and vanilla, anxiety, cars, and hair color. We cooked when we got bored last week. This weekend we are planning on making a trip into downtown so we can get some decretive pictures for the apt. Another big difference.... i have a duke shirt and she is from the UNC... i'm not really sure i have permission to wear it.

The job at the record label is pretty cool. We are updating and creating social networking pages for all of the artists under the INO Label. We do mail-outs that are crazy time consuming... We've meet really awesome people! Tonight, we were invited to a fund raising dinner for a local radio station where we were fed dinner and then it was a Third Day concert. Last week, Kelsey got to go on a photo shoot with Building 429. and I get to go on when in the middle of June. Philips Craig and Dean... dont tell Dad... its gonna be a little surprise for fathers day.

Target is cool. All i do for 5 hours at a time is ring people up at target. There are so many people... I have fun just creating stories for all the different people that come in. We have probably more fun then we should, but i cant get bored. The discount is great... but i dont think i've worked yet where i havent bought something... mind you...its usually a soda....but still. Yesterday i got a record player for $9! I know its pretty sweet!

As far a me personally... i'm doing alright. I'm looking for guidance daily about where to go to chuch. We went to one last week and I could feel God saying that he didnt need me there. I really want to find somewhere though where i can get plugged in. Kelsey makes fun of me all the time because i have to be doing something... and it's true... im usually doing dishes or cleaning, or creating something or cooking... i really never sit and relax... i think i'm almost kind of scared to... i'll start thinking too much and miss people.... I talk to nathan every night and i'm slowly dying inside to think that i have no idea when i get to see him again. I'm not sure if this is just a girl thing for girls with boyfrinds.. but im getting worried that i might gain this streak of womanly independance and i almost dont want that because i will always need nathan. or i guess i should say that i dont ever what to be ok without him. do you know what i mean??

Forrest is doing well.. she has made a couple friends with the cats that come up to the window out side. At nights we will catch her running from my window to the sliding glass door in the living room and then back to my window... she's not used to so little human contact so shes super anxious to see us when we come home. I'll take pictures and put them up soon.. it's just that the place isnt complete and i want it to look how its supposed to.

please come and visit me. I miss everyone. Nathan said i sound quieter and more sad on the phone. I dont mean to i think im just slowly getting lonely...

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

2 Days Left

In an attempt to capture my feelings so I remember what it feels like these last days of class, I really have no desire to remember them. As much as I thought I might be completely relieved,I am more totally anxious and stressed. My allergies make me feel like I have the worst cold in the entire world. When you are allergic to every tree in Illinois, this is how it feels and I just need to get over it.

I only have 1 homework assignment due as a final. Everything else is just studying for two tests that I have next thursday. My room is mostly boxed up. I have enough clothes for a week and I have to wear each of those close once, wash them and then wear them again next week.

I've found myself thinking really hard lately about what it might feel like this time next week or this time two weeks from now. Next week I will be desperately studying to pass a MGMT class and two weeks from now, I will be frantically going through all my belongings in my head and finding out where they are going to go in the apartment.

I got my first graduation card today. This is really surreal to me. I only have 4 days left of work here in carbondale. I have two hours left of class. I have about 48 hours left of outside work. You know the crazy's been sitting in my head.... but i just realized yesterday that tomorrow is my birthday. The sad things.... i only have 9 more days with my best friends... 9 more days.

I praise God for everything He's shown me here. And I praise Him for everything he is going to provide for me. I really hope He doesn't mind that I'm still scared. Happy Birthday Shannon, today! Happy Birthday to me, tomorrow! Thank you for my Mom and Dad Jesus, and thanks for convincing my dad that daughters are way better than sons. :)

Thursday, February 28, 2008

"...My cup overfloweth and I care about the stain..."

I was blessed with the ability to have full confidence in future. I surprise myself many a times with how okay I am with life and with the directions God chooses to take me. Lately, I have been traveling a lot. I was in Louisville, KY, Nashville, TN I'm heading to Atlanta, GA this weekend, then next week I am going to a concert in St. Louis, MO and next weekend we head to New Orleans for our mission trip. God's showing me different opportunities to see what he's doing in the world.

God teaches me daily, I know this, but lately he has been teaching me about how judgmental I am. Women often seem to lean in that persuasion. I was talking to God last night and he showed me the gift he gave me in understanding the heart of people and consoling someone when they need a pick-me-up. Yet my sinful nature has the best of me and I judge. Sometimes I get so mad at my self for selfish emotions. If someone told me to get over myself I would be so hurt, but sometimes I feel just telling myself that I don't get the same affect.

I am in awe every day of Nathan's love for me. I didn't realize I was that likable for one thing, and I know that I am terribly annoying. God just reveals to me everyday little snippets of my future. Nathan and I will joke, or make decisions, or he'll grab my hand and I feel God saying, "See, this is just a preview of the amazing things I have in store for you and Nathan." I'm so blessed and most of the time it surpasses me and I don't give a rip.

I'll finish with a quote that I heard in the Caedmon's Call song I heard:
"...My cup overfloweth and I care about the stain..."

Saturday, January 12, 2008

The aTypical Introduction

An attempt to understand a girl's mind is so difficult for a man.  We give them crap for trying and go on and on about how they have the slightest idea.  Then we give a 30 second explanation of a man in a nutshell, like they are single-celled organisms with  protruding extremities (including the head) even they have little control over.  

I'm 21, all-american, been a girl, well, quite a while, and to explain a female is something i wouldn't even begin to stubble over.  I'm attempting this starting now because I'm at that time where everything's happening.  That whole, "Where will you be in five years?" question has answers potentially completely opposite to the now.  I graduate in 4 months.  I get my first apartments.  God willing, I'll be married in two years, and sure before that five year hash mark my children will be in the picture.  

Now, I'm not going at this blindly.  I have the perfect handbook, the Bible.  I have many imperfect, yet discerning examples in my mother, grandmothers, and so on and so forth.  I have faith in God that He has the lesson plan charted with a ruler in one hand and a gold star in the other.  

I am interested to see on paper, the turn out.  So, I'm starting now.  I've put the pen to the paper.  I know the picture is going to be what God aims to post on his 'fridge, so, Im going to see what dot i hit next.  You can watch if you want, but Im looking to grow closer to Christ, my boyfriend/husband, my family, and myself.