Monday, November 2, 2009

A Little Change

This may be short and sweet. But i just realized something that might be monumental in my brain. If i think that there is no change in my life, or that my life may be really boring right now, wouldn't that be a change from the previous.... my life is always a change, even when i can't see change, its a change from the last time...

yeah... it's one of those days, when i have to reach into my inner most thoughts to think of something that can fuel me for tomorrow. God always give me fuel by His blessings, particularly a 240 lb. hunk of handsome teddy bear like blessing that will soon be a big change in my life, but if im constantly looking in the distance for change, i miss what's right in front of me that is constant.

the only thing that needs changing right now is my good old twisted heart. I'm praying for that right now...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Jamie vs. Linz

At work today, Jill from Doing Life with the Traceys, compared me to Jamie Jamgochian. I laughed about it but then we started looking at Facebook Pictures and it was funny.... I think I have decided that, yes we look similar... but I look like her about 5-7 years prior...

Jill has some other pictures on the Doing Life with the Traceys page... we are facebook twins.... :)

Saturday, September 5, 2009


The night was one of those great nights when nathan comes home...  We meet out at his house nothing fancy at all.  Dinner had come and gone and everyone was showering only to slide their cut offs, comfy t-shirts and sandals back on to head out to a movie.  

I talked to the boys about their football game, and chit chatted with Pam and Steve and the Webers while nathan was still finishing his (always) incredibly long shower.  Then we piled into the van and my car and headed to Willow to watch a movie... 

Gamer was tonight's movie and i had never heard of it so i had no idea what i was in for...i was rudely introduced by more blood than saving private ryan, top-less women, and enough f-bombs to blow up a small village... i felt like a complete sissy, and very terrible, but i told nathan i was so sorry but i couldn't stay so i gathered my things and left.  Feeling terrible that i did, i moped over to Kohl's and then over to Bergner's and the book store thinking the whole time, Im so sorry. I should have stuck it out... I soon got a call saying the movie was over and they were heading over to Culver's.  

I felt way better when i got there b/c everyone said it was a terrible movie and a sad excuse for excessive violence and nudity.  Ash said she would have walked out with me had she known i left.  But we laughed and talked about funny people, funny times, made fun of each other, and enjoyed our Culver's like we always do... needless to say i had spilled pepsi on me earlier so i got some grief.  

Then we left and nathan and i went to chill for a while and he wanted to waste some time on the way home *1st inkling* and so we stopped by the church and sat in the parking lot where he asked a me out a few years back *2nd inkling* We talked for a little while and he was sad that we couldn't watch the stars, but he then preceded to say, Well, as you know we have been together 4 years and 2 mo. and you may know what's coming next but, uhh..." as he is pulling the ring box out of his sweatshirt, "Will you marry me?"  

I didn't even look at the ring, i didn't care at all!  I grabbed him around the neck as we sat in my car and giggled and said yes and yes again and kissed his cheek and hugged him and just was so stinking happy! 

Then i looked at the ring and it was ABSOLUTELY perfect! Our simple flawless love wrapped up in a tiny little band that was EVERYTHING i asked for.  We walked around the church building for a while thinking about the importance of what that place meant to us... where we met, where we served together, where we fell in love, where he asked me out, now, where he proposed to me, soon where he will marry me, and where we will serve together again.  

I know i will say it now...and it might not feel this way in the future... but i don't care what comes next because i have got the best partner and leader and Father who love me and will never leave my side.  

I LOVE YOU NATHANIEL STEVEN!  I CAN'T WAIT to grow old with you by my side.  And i will probably still have pepsi stains on my shirt then, too...

yours very truly,
the future Mrs. Wineinger

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Have Mercy for Mercy Me HAHA!

Katie at work introduced me to the "Cover Tune Grab Bag" that Mercy Me did and man some of them are really good, and others are just hysterical!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What Do I know of Holy

Working at a radio station, it come very difficult to me to find a favorite song by a christian artist thats I like and still like after about 2 days.  It eventually gets played to much and it gets old and I'm done.  But I think I have found one that can stick around for a while and I will still like it tomorrow.  Mostly because there are so many meaningful words to chew on that i get caught on one saying.... i think about it... and then the next time I hear it, I think about the next verse.  Addison Road is the artist and the song is called, "What Do I Know of Holy."  
"I tried to hear from heaven, but I talked to whole time."  I don't give time to sit and listen or to open my bible and listen. Sometimes you finally hear the words that you have been trying to come up with and you're like.. duh.. 

The chorus makes total sense to me.  What do I really understand of what holy is, when all i really know is what a couple stories are?  Have I enternalized his mercy and grace...
His vastness
...He who gave life "its" name and we feel we have all the control of abuse it, to take credit for it, to take it away even... what do I really understand of Holy...

Here are the words.... 

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees


What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?


What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

Saturday, June 20, 2009

10 things I should have Brought with me...

So I thought I would start a list of 5 things I should have brought with me to TN...
1. Baking essentials like, eggs, butter, sugar
2. How to book on Riding Horses
3. Lost 
4. Razor
5. Bug Spray
What I should have brought back with me... only 1...
1. Nathan.

It was good to see him working for Jesus and enjoying himself a ton.  It was good to see the mountains and see Gods handy work.  And all the extra fresh air made me jump start my next week.  ALERT THE MEDIA** I MOWED MY OWN LAWN!**  I more like chewed it up.  details...   ALSO A few months ago I got internet scammed out of my saxophone and this week they found it somewhere in atlanta!  SCORE!  I have been cleaning up my house and today I got an A/C.  It's in the living room, so it doesnt really make a dent on any other part of the house, but it feels great in the living room!  Ok off to bed.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

I wish I could put into words what I am seeing around here, but nothing would work for the beauty that surrounds us.  We are at this place in the hills of the Smoky Mountains and from out deck, all we see is mountains and sky.  On our second deck, upstairs, we can sit in our hot tub, and gaze at the stars... Shooting stars are a reoccurrence.  My friends, Katie, Valerie and I are enjoying some great time with each other, with Jesus and with nature.  I also am enjoying some time with the love of my life. 
Jefferson City, where nathan is working for the sum
mer is about an hour away so I got to spend last night and today with him.  We enjoyed each others company of course and I got to see where he worked and held hands long enough to make up for the 7 weeks he has left until he comes home.  As much as I miss him, I am glad to be back in the mountains looking out over the wonderful mountains, see God's breath-taking creation. 
 As you look in some of these pictures I posted, these are actually from the website but they are not far off at all!  They are BEAUTIFUL cabins!  And those mount
ain views are no joke.  Amazing... im tellin ya.  Valerie has this crazy thing about her, that where ever she goes, wild life tends to follow.  So far, we have seen a DEAD baby scorpion, a mountain lion, a momma duck and her ducklings, a baby rabbit and the turkey... oh and a snake.  Katie the uncanny connection to nature.  She has seen shooting stars, rainbows and random shinny things the earth has created.  It has been a great weekend.  
The girls are staying in the one bedroom of the cabin and I am staying in this awesome loft that's on the second floor.  I am typing in the living room right now.  There is a journal sitting on the coffee table in front of the TV and in it are entries of all the people that came here before us.  It is really sweet how some are honeymooners, some are family reunions, and some are just some marriage renewal stuff.  God's handy work is unmistakably inspiring here.  I hope that everyone feels closer to Him, event if they don't realize it is him.  They feel changed at least.  I need to go to bed now.  It is twelve and we are planning on a morning with Jesus, some horse back riding, and some soaking up the glory time.  And of course... hot tub and suntan. Oh the joys of vacation.  Goodnite all.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Tug of War

Man, I am struggling with keeping this up to date. SBT...

I got on FB yesterday and I was just crushed. I saw the World Changers/PowerPlant pictures and my heart was just broken. All I wanted to do was be there. (Ok here is where I might start writing things that someone at work might see and get offended, but I want you to know that I don't NOT appreciate the job, I am just speaking truthfully from my heart) I miss working for people. I miss direct service. I miss youth. I miss my freedoms. I miss it when I would work and not focus on the time.

My heart is just telling me that I am not giving at my capcity and I miss that so much. I haven't roofed a house in years. I haven't gone on a mission trip in over three years. I moved into this house and I can't utalize it, because I don't have free time. I am finding myself at a place in life where I dont have the faith in God's power like I used to, because I don't NEED it. I don't like that feeling. I have a 9 to 5, and a roof over my head, and 401K (503B actually) and a paycheck. I hate that I am blending in to the workforce I think. I am at the stage of life where I wanted to be doing what I could before I got married, and now, I am in a routine...the exact opposite.

My heart hurts right now and to fix it would be irresponsible and not for the greater good. It would be self pleasing and finacially dumb.

God's got me. He always does. I just hope that I'm gripping with a tight enough grasp to feel the tug.

On a slightly lighter note...

Mac is doing well. He graduated from Puppy class last friday. He got first place in the tale wagging compotition and 3rd in Sit stay and down stay. We have a few little spats now and again, but he chillaxes in the kitchen while im at work and then we walk or play when I get home. He's my love and I try to take him everywhere I go. :)

Nathan is at Appalachain Outreach in Jefferson City, TN this summer...yet another summer apart, but it will be 4 years a month from yesterday... wierd isn't it... yeah i know.

Ok off to bed. Thank you for listening to my heart for a while and humoring me.. Miss all of you who are far away.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I always feel it valuable to write in here when I have something very deep to say and I never find myself just writing here because I got nothing else to do.

Well this is another deep time. Tonight as I was sitting in front of my TV with my scrounged up dinner of rice and fish, which is about all I have at the moment til I grocery shop, I wondered, is this going to be that time that my grandchildren say, “I don’t know how Gma did it?!”

I know this isn’t near what surviving feels like, but man, my heart feels like it’s just barely getting by. Let me complain all in one paragraph and get it out of the way so you don’t have to hear it anymore. Mac, although I love him more then ever, is make it very hard to be loveable. His nipping is getting more frequent, and after studying up on it, I found out it is because he is frustrated from being in his kennel all day. This also is affecting his barking. Today was Dad’s last day of work at Lonza. He cried, on the phone with me tonight and did his very best to make sure I couldn’t tell. He is so frustrated that he is know part of the statistic of people who have lost their jobs. Mom is on her second week of her 5-week layoff. She has three more to go, but at this very moment, she is waiting in a hospital for Grandpa who is having a very serious and possible fetal heart surgery. My sister is doing well, although her fiancĂ© isn’t, which is making things stressful on her as well. Seriously… is this really happening? I thought this only happened in movies. All I need is an affair, some climactic music, a contract… and I have an all American soap opera.

I don’t know if necessarily I could handle this, but I don’t understand how I got the luck of the draw here. And I can only do one thing… pray… that Dad gets a job, that Mom keeps her job, that Grandpa makes it through the surgery and that he remembers those times Grandma was yelling at him about going to church, that a miracle could get Andy out of this worthless legal trouble, and that Nathan were home to kiss me good night soon.

My heart is spent. I’m not giving my 100% anywhere, because I don’t know where any of it is…

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

My New Addition...

This is the new addition to my wonderful family.  Mac came to live with me in my new house (which I will have pictures up later once everything is complete) Friday, January 30th.  His birthday was December 18th, 2008, so he will be 8 weeks on Thursday.  He was 7 lbs on Friday.  I know that he has grown since then.  He is such a mild mannered dog.  If only potty train as quickly.  

Forrest and him are doing alright.  He got a good swat across the face the other day for being too friendly.  I will get more pictures up soon.  I am somewhat worn from getting up in the middle of the night and cleaning at the house.  Mac I am sure will have good stories... Its only just a matter of time!  

Sunday, January 18, 2009

A Big Cheer for God AMAZING Timing!

I got the great news that my house will be done THIS WEEK! I will probably be moving in next weekend! I slightly can't believe it. Mostly because my room isn't packed at all. But also b/c of God timing and all. Here are some pictures of before and half way through. I will have move in pictures up after next week.

Many times when I tell people about my house, I am mostly just really excited about it and don't get to talk about what a great joy it will be.  As much as I want this to be a place to call my own (as much as a renter can call someplace home) I want my home to be a safe place...a place where my church kids can come when they need something to do, a place they feel safe and a place that God can ultimately use for His purposed! I have waited so long for a place like this and God has answered my prayers, and although at times, i may not want to allow God to have my house, it is not mine to withhold.  So, God, here in front of all these bloggers, and everyone that desires to keep me accountable, I promise to glorify you with this house. It is yours.   Just don't drink out of the milk jug and use chip clips!  :) No, but seriously, Thank you for your oh so perfect, but sometimes misunderstood, timing.  I say all this, not to toot my own horn, but so that all of you guys make sure that I don't fall on my promise to God.  

So my new fluffy, black adopted son that is coming to my house on Feb. 25th ish is doing well so far.  His name choices have come down to these 5:
1. Quincy (Thanks Alyssa. (She's three and loves Little Einsteins.))
2. Mac (Apple, fav McD burger, and he will be as big as a mac truck)
3. Zeus (Largeness)
4. Samson (From the Bible; Strength and Size)
5. Back-up (Thanks Tricia! "I need Back-Up!")

I am going to do that crazy, animal lover thing and ask the dog what he wants his name to be.  They say (and don't ask me who they are) that if you say the names to your animal they may respond better to ones over the others.  I have already purchased his collar, leash, and some treats.  Mom said bring towels to rub on the mother for the first few days that he's home, and I also have the "Puppy Raising and Training Diary for Dummies."  I want to do this right.  And if you know me well, you know reading for me is almost non existent.... well.... in lo of the puppy, I feel it necessary to ready Marly and Me... (Thanks for the idea shan!) that and I want to read the book before I see the movie.  Marly and Quincy/Mac/Zeus/Samson/Back-up are basically gonna look the same only one will be black!  Oh goodness.  Ok.  

If you have any other tips, let me know! I'm getting back to reading.    

Monday, January 12, 2009

Forrest's New Brother!!!

He is due to arrive at my NEW house on Elmwood February 25. His mom is a golden retriever and his dad is a black lab. He is black in color and pretty much the best thing ever even though I haven't met him. I am absolutely thrilled and I will keep you as updated as possible and a get a real picture of him up soon.

But I NEED HELP! I cant think of a great name. I was thinking Security... cant you just picture me opening the door, "Security!" I thought that was funny...I need suggestions.... Ok.. off to go study Daniel. Peace out!!