2 Days Left

In an attempt to capture my feelings so I remember what it feels like these last days of class, I really have no desire to remember them. As much as I thought I might be completely relieved,I am more totally anxious and stressed. My allergies make me feel like I have the worst cold in the entire world. When you are allergic to every tree in Illinois, this is how it feels and I just need to get over it.

I only have 1 homework assignment due as a final. Everything else is just studying for two tests that I have next thursday. My room is mostly boxed up. I have enough clothes for a week and I have to wear each of those close once, wash them and then wear them again next week.

I've found myself thinking really hard lately about what it might feel like this time next week or this time two weeks from now. Next week I will be desperately studying to pass a MGMT class and two weeks from now, I will be frantically going through all my belongings in my head and finding out where they are going to go in the apartment.

I got my first graduation card today. This is really surreal to me. I only have 4 days left of work here in carbondale. I have two hours left of class. I have about 48 hours left of outside work. You know the crazy part...it's been sitting in my head.... but i just realized yesterday that tomorrow is my birthday. The sad things.... i only have 9 more days with my best friends... 9 more days.

I praise God for everything He's shown me here. And I praise Him for everything he is going to provide for me. I really hope He doesn't mind that I'm still scared. Happy Birthday Shannon, today! Happy Birthday to me, tomorrow! Thank you for my Mom and Dad Jesus, and thanks for convincing my dad that daughters are way better than sons. :)

"...My cup overfloweth and I care about the stain..."

I was blessed with the ability to have full confidence in future. I surprise myself many a times with how okay I am with life and with the directions God chooses to take me. Lately, I have been traveling a lot. I was in Louisville, KY, Nashville, TN I'm heading to Atlanta, GA this weekend, then next week I am going to a concert in St. Louis, MO and next weekend we head to New Orleans for our mission trip. God's showing me different opportunities to see what he's doing in the world.

God teaches me daily, I know this, but lately he has been teaching me about how judgmental I am. Women often seem to lean in that persuasion. I was talking to God last night and he showed me the gift he gave me in understanding the heart of people and consoling someone when they need a pick-me-up. Yet my sinful nature has the best of me and I judge. Sometimes I get so mad at my self for selfish emotions. If someone told me to get over myself I would be so hurt, but sometimes I feel just telling myself that I don't get the same affect.

I am in awe every day of Nathan's love for me. I didn't realize I was that likable for one thing, and I know that I am terribly annoying. God just reveals to me everyday little snippets of my future. Nathan and I will joke, or make decisions, or he'll grab my hand and I feel God saying, "See, this is just a preview of the amazing things I have in store for you and Nathan." I'm so blessed and most of the time it surpasses me and I don't give a rip.

I'll finish with a quote that I heard in the Caedmon's Call song I heard:
"...My cup overfloweth and I care about the stain..."

The aTypical Introduction

An attempt to understand a girl's mind is so difficult for a man.  We give them crap for trying and go on and on about how they have the slightest idea.  Then we give a 30 second explanation of a man in a nutshell, like they are single-celled organisms with  protruding extremities (including the head) even they have little control over.  

I'm 21, all-american, been a girl, well, quite a while, and to explain a female is something i wouldn't even begin to stubble over.  I'm attempting this starting now because I'm at that time where everything's happening.  That whole, "Where will you be in five years?" question has answers potentially completely opposite to the now.  I graduate in 4 months.  I get my first apartments.  God willing, I'll be married in two years, and sure before that five year hash mark my children will be in the picture.  

Now, I'm not going at this blindly.  I have the perfect handbook, the Bible.  I have many imperfect, yet discerning examples in my mother, grandmothers, and so on and so forth.  I have faith in God that He has the lesson plan charted with a ruler in one hand and a gold star in the other.  

I am interested to see on paper, the turn out.  So, I'm starting now.  I've put the pen to the paper.  I know the picture is going to be what God aims to post on his 'fridge, so, Im going to see what dot i hit next.  You can watch if you want, but Im looking to grow closer to Christ, my boyfriend/husband, my family, and myself.