Thankful does not even begin to describe the feelings I have
towards this little gem I call my Ruthie May.
I know, I know… I talk about her continually, and when I’m not talking
about her, I am posting pictures or a video of her or something she’s
done.
Needless to say, my child is smothered in attention
(probably too much at times) and love because I just can’t help myself. I can type here, that I am thankful for my daughter,
but what I REALLY should be saying is that I am thankful for a God that love’s
me so much that he specifically gave me Ruthie.
I don’t understand why it took me soooo long to grasp this, but why does
God do anything? To draw people to him;
i.e. God gave me Ruthie so that I might draw near to Him. Mission
Accomplished over and over and OVER again!
If you know the “Ruthie Coming into this World” Saga, skip
ahead until words aren’t italicized anymore…
For the newbies out there just reading my blog, let me give
you the 1-paragraph version of how Ruthie May Wineinger came to be. So, there was this boy named Nathan…HA no,
just kidding. I meant literally CAME
HERE! I was 6 mo preg., going on a trip
to Dallas with
the youth group. I start feeling really lousy
but figure it was pregnancy stuff. The day
before we come home, we find out an offer has been accepted on our first house
we planned to purchase; Move in date set Sept 1, Labor Day Saturday. Come home, feel ehh for two weeks but make it
to my 32 week apt. (Aug. 8). Doctor finished the apt with strict orders to
head straight to the hospital. I had preeclampsia
and was officially on bed rest until Ruthie arrived (due date Oct. 4). After lots of tests, steroid shots to the tosh,
and LOTS of tears, a C section was scheduled at 8pm on Aug 9. On top of it all, Ruthie’s great grandma, Gma
Sue, passed away at 4pm just 4 hrs before her arrival. Ruthie arrived with general complications a 2
mo preemie would have, but fought with the best of them and won with only 20
days in the Neonatal ICU and arrived home August 28. Oh, but don’t forget that move-in date! We moved just 3 days later into a new (to us)
home that was graciously cleaned and painted by a fearless team of women that
came everyday for a week, while Mom helped me pack.
So that is physically what happened…but mentally, I was a
basket case! I had not had a baby shower
yet. I already was convinced that I was
not adequately prepared to take care of a child (Mom & Brittany were close,
right?!) let alone a preemie. But I wrote
a lot…I blogged a lot. I read the Bible A
LOT! And God just started revealing. Now, I know that this is how I humanly
interpreted what he was showing me, so don’t think that I portray God as a jerk…
- Seriously Lindsay…where in the right mind did you think you were in control of what was going on?
- Get it in your head VERY quickly, that this is not about you…this was never about you! It was always about me.
- You cannot not handle this on you own. People say I won’t give you more than you can handle. I have just given you a lot, and in order for you to handle this, you need to rely on me.
- Um…she has red hair…I did listen!
- Can you imagine moving into a house 9 mo pregnant? Yeah, I didn’t want to see that either!!
- Don’t worry, Grandma Sue got to meet Ruthie.
- Good name, by the way! I’m kind of partial to it…
- (Finally) Your world will NEVER be about you again. Learn this now. Your world is about glorifying me through the raising of your children, the commitment to your husband and the spread of the Gospel through your words and deeds.
We serve a GRACIOUS God.
Everyday, I look at Ruthie and see God’s grace and majesty. She is my little miracle baby, not because
she was premature, but because to look at her and not see God’s divine will at
work is impossible.
I don’t have much experience with parenting yet, 15 months
on Saturday is still defined as “Rookie,” but I will challenge you, take a look
at your kid(s) and be reminded that God put them in this world to do great and
wonderful and multiple things, but for you, he created him/her ultimately to
draw you to Him and praise Him!
Ruthie,
There may be days where I grumble after sweeping up crushed animal
crackers in the living room for the 3rd time, but my relationship
with God is stronger because of you.
And, I pray daily for the time when you seek God and know Jesus in this
way.
Thank You for being my sweet Ruthie May,
Love,
Mom
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